Sometimes you can talk for a long time, but it’s understandable that someone or both has to compromise to get something. Parties (seem to) have conflicting interests, and talking isn’t enough. You might have to compromise on one point to get something on another. And sometimes finding new approaches bring both new results
How can you approach it?
1. Compromise isn’t always bad.
Know the value of moving forward together. So see compromise as a strength, not a weakness. Discover the true needs of your “opponent.” Compromise is about trying to help the other person without becoming dissatisfied yourself.
2. Think about making decisions together.
- Regarding people: separate the people from the problem; otherwise, you’ll end up accusing each other.
- Regarding interests: focus on interests, not positions; positions may be fixed.
- Regarding choices: create all sorts of possibilities before making a decision; avoid tunnel vision.
- Regarding criteria: insist that the result be based on an objective standard. Otherwise, you’ll end up arguing later.
3. Prepare well. Gather as much information as possible about the issue, the other party, and possible outcomes. Determine your goals, your lower limit, and your ideal outcome beforehand. Also investigate the other party’s potential interests. Make sure these are interests, not opinions or positions taken.
4. Listen actively and ask questions
Good listening helps you understand the other party’s needs and interests. Ask open-ended questions such as: “What is important to you in this deal?” This creates space for solutions that both parties can agree on. This helps to find win-win situations, solutions that benefit both parties.
5. Be clear and confident
Communicate clearly what you want and explain why it’s important. Maintain an assertive but friendly attitude. Don’t be afraid to allow silences to allow the other party time to think. Be gentle on the relationship and firm on the content.
6. Know the Alternatives (BATNA)
BATNA stands for : “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement”). Know your options if the negotiation fails. This gives you negotiating power and prevents you from accepting a bad deal.
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